I am going to choose a topic to talk about and that topic is fear.
As enlightened mammals we are both blessed and cursed with the ability to experience fear. Even the most primitive beings have the fear response, it is what keeps them out of harm’s way. We are the only ones who have the nightmarish ability to manifest fear in our own minds, a place we can never escape from.
Or can we? Who’s to say that we can not simply and politely push that unnecessary fear into a deep, dark closet and lock the door. Then throw away the key. Having some level of fear is essential to sustaining your life. It’s what keeps you thinking twice about base jumping, driving with your eyes closed or playing outside with a metal rod in a lighting storm. It is the other fear, the stuff we manage to conjure up out of our very own worst nightmares. Why do we do it? Guess what – the answer might surprise you. More fear. That’s right folks – we fear success as much if not more than failure.
Why? Why does being successful create such a feeling of fear? It is for the same reason we fear failure – it is an unknown. If we live in a constant, a cyclical, routine existence then we will always know (for the most part) what to expect. Once we begin to step out of our comfort zone, we lose the ability to predict our future and therefore lose the (false) sense of control we thought we had over our mediocre routines.
When I started writing this book, I felt fear about admitting my true feelings. When it was accepted at Page Publishing, I felt fear that I was making a huge mistake, that I was some kind of fraud unworthy of having my work out in the universe. And when the book went public I felt fear. Fear that everyone was now going to have access to my innermost thoughts along this broken, staggered journey I am on.
Through the writing of Your crossroads. Your choice. I began to recognize this false fear. I began to kick it in the nuts so to speak and send it packing. I have felt the weight lift from my shoulders as I accepted my passion, embraced my journey and turned it into a witty, creative outlook on an otherwise commonplace journey. You see, my new friends, the things that happen to us in life are not what define us. Rather, it is the choices we make that make us who we are. I chose to feel success rather than fear. What will you choose?
About the Book
Title: Your crossroads. Your choice.
Author: EJ Apicello
Welcome to my diary, my journey, as I tripped and crawled through the darkest time in my life- when I witnessed people that I held incredibly close to me shatter my very existence with their words and actions. The things within this book spine are extremely raw and exceptionally real. You and I are going to get very close, the details in this book, although oddly general, are incredibly specific. Yes, I realize what I just said and as you read my words you will see what I mean. As you silently gasp and mentally bitch slap me, please be kind because my story is just that – my story. It is not any more or less special than yours. In fact the only difference between our stories are the choices we made at each of the crossroads in our lives. For most of my life the choices I made were not based on my happiness but on everyone else’s. This book describes what I have experienced in my journey to finding my happiness and hopefully never letting it go. Sadly, it took me thirty six years to find the strength I need to detoxify my life and self view and find someone who is worthy of my awesomeness. Thirty six years to shatter the negative foundation I had built shatter the ultimate representative I created to hide behind and begin the process of building a new foundation. Only this foundation will be built on strength, confidence and above all, happiness. So take a minute or thirty and sit with my story for a while. You never know what you might find out.
Welcome to my real, crazy, emotional, probably too honest journey. I am an everyday girl in this everyday world trying to keep my head above water and within the pages of this book you will learn about the things that have broken me down and the steps I am taking to build back up. You will see, my new friends, that this story is written in a unique, general, conversational voice, which was my choice. I want you to be able to picture yourself in my shoes, relate my trials and tribulations to yours and see that you too can find your happiness. Even if you don’t realize this yet, every single one of us possesses things inside of ourselves that we didn’t know were there. It took my life taking a crazy right turn and dumping me at the lowest possible point before I could see the strength within myself. We are not defined by what we do, we are defined by the choices we make. I decided when I put pen to paper that I want my choices to start defining me as strong, confident, secure and above all else, happy. So, who am I? How about I tell you who I was – a self loathing shell of myself who put everyone else’s happiness before my own. Herein lies my story to find that happiness and all of the ups and downs along the way. See who I was and who I am trying to become and maybe, somewhere in there, you will find out a little about yourself too.